If you want to express your point of view while maintaining the relationship by recognizing another person`s right to express a different point of view, you can use the « framework of agreement » that uses « and » instead of « but. » If there is no commonality… Don`t go! Check again if both parties wish to resolve the issue and establish common ground, then return if necessary until a common framework is established. If everyone knows where the common point is, go ahead. Flexibility is important for effective communication. By avoiding the resistance of others, others are involved in what is said and leave them open to new ideas. Avoiding negations such as « but » and « however » in communication helps greatly to eliminate the resistance of others. The framework allows you to discuss with other different points of view without creating resistance in others or jeopardizing your values and beliefs. Obviously people don`t like that you don`t agree with them, so the « trick » here first agrees, then you use « and » – then give your opinion or your point of view. During this process, you must be sincere in your approach and know that you should not say that you appreciate, respect or agree with what they say if you do not. Your words must be carefully chosen.
The framework of the agreement is useful when two parties fail to agree on something. There are usually 4 strategies that can be chosen in case of disagreement: Good luck in using the NLP framework! Let me know in the comments how you apply this principle to give more respect to other people or better communicate. In personal or non-formal conflict situations, you can respond to a critical comment such as « Your shoes are ugly! » with the framework of affirmation or agreement, such as.B.: If it is established that both parties must participate in a favorable outcome, then it is time to begin. Now back to why there are differences of opinion… People work from their framework, which consists of values, priorities or categories of things in the world. If these frames are misaligned and both parties are too inflexible to see the case through each other`s frames, then it`s time to walk meta… or rather to adopt a higher framework that encompasses the frameworks of both parties. The last element of the framework of agreement is to guide the person with whom we communicate towards the outcome we want, that is, that our goal is always to look for ways to build and deepen a relationship.
Disagreement with people usually has the opposite effect. The treaty framework is a way to build a relationship by finding creative ways to get along with people whenever possible. For the purposes of our example, we assume that A`s response to B`s disagreement is to feel dissatisfied (remember – the importance of your communication is the response you receive). In any case, it is important that you agree with them. If not, you will be dishonest. We will soon realize how we use this framework if we do not agree with the other person. In the second example B, Tempo A continues with the replacement, but by the framework and part of the framework agreement. B could have elegantly achieved his desired result – going home – so that A felt rather pleasant by simply wrapping a contractual framework around his disagreement, as in the following example:- In a professional or professional context, the contractual framework adopts one or more of the following form combinations: These are just things to think about when one notices disagreements around oneself.